Ive wanted to serve since I was little, but Ive procrastinated the day of my repentance so that is something Ill have to accept. We cannot progress without it. The best response to being hurt is, as President Packer implied, to get over it. . I am left with many unanswered questions and that is okay with me. Hi so when I was 12 I was sucked into the addiction of pornography for 5 months, I knew it was bad but I didnt understand how bad. or [take] a thing . All of us can do better and be better than ever before.12. As we gratefully recognize His Atonement and His power to cleanse us from sin, we are able to "exercise [our] faith unto repentance" ( Alma 34:17) Sorrow for Sin. Remember the words of King Benjamin from the Book of Mormon: I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. Isnt repentance an individual act that is different for different people? We can be forgiven only on His terms. But i have another question im sorry, i promise this will be the last.. if its a sexual intercourse violation, do you have an idea how long or how many months his repentance process might be before he becomes a ward mission leader? No bishop and none of your friends and family who truly know you, will think ill of you because you are working towards full repentance. How could they make judgments on his heart? According to his bishop, I dont need to confess it to my ward bishop, since everything happened was really against my will. The Savior said to the Nephites in the Book of Mormon, Behold, it is written by them of old time, that thou shalt not commit adultery; But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman, to lust after her, hath committed adultery already in his heart. Good luck, and God bless you. Good luck and God bless. We should repent for the same reason. I really want more anything to serve a mission in 4-6 months but am worried I cant break the habit. I know Ive had a change of heart. James said, To him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin (James 4:17). During this time, I also developed an addiction to pornography. Ive never had the desire to serve a mission, but yesterday the idea came to me. Youre Heavenly Father loves you and has provided the way for you to change and improve through the Atonement of His Son Jesus Christ. I stopped watching those kind of videos and started to control myself. The first step of repentance is to recognize that you have committed a sin against the Heavenly Father. Because of His atoning sacrifice, He shoulders the pain that we experience, which gives us the ability to overcome these hurts and to heal and forgive our spouse. There was no man ever born into this world that could have stood under the weight of the load that was upon the Son of God, when he was carrying my sins and yours and making it possible that we might escape from our sins (Doctrines of Salvation, sel. Arent individuals different? Remember what the Jesus said in John 15: 3-4, that as we abide in the Savior, we are clean through his word. I dont know how I can train myself to think in LDS ways as I have been dealing with desensitization for some time now. Apparently there is a policy (not doctrine) that says when a line is crossed, this punishment (a one year waiting period) must be exacted. Jake, I dont think you have ruined your chances of going on a mission, but you need to stop this addictive behavior right away. As with Alma, our happiness and joy can be sweet and exquisite. To make our repentance complete we must keep the commandments of the Lord (see D&C 1:32). We are willing to apologize and become better people, which is at the core of repentance. Come to God through prayer, scripture study, and religious devotion. But if your sins were serious, such as sexual transgression, you will need to talk to your bishop about those before sending in your mission application. about two years ago, I began indulging in inappropriate activities because I had completely lost faith in the church and had no remorse. The Church recommends that at least a year pass from the original church council. At this era of my life, Ive also seen how I become closer to God I received the y.w. I got baptized when I was 15 and first had relations when I was already a member. He knows you well enough that he can likely guess what youre thinking or what youll do next and he knows your patterns. Go talk to your bishop as your earliest convenience to clear up the serious transgressions you have been involved in. And you do!! Susan, It sounds like you know what you need to do. For young people going on a mission, a bishop will want to know that the missionary candidate has been free of the sin of masturbation for a month and is committed to not doing it again before they turn in the mission application paperwork. I have been clean for 4 months now and feel much better. The Lord has promised, I, the Lord, forgive sins, and am merciful unto those who confess their sins with humble hearts (D&C 61:2). Good luck and God bless. I know that now even more especially after what happened. He will help you repent, which is the most important focus for you right now, and also he will be able to tell you if a mission could still be in your future. At night before we go to sleep, we should review our acts and words of the day and ask the Lord to help us recognize the things for which we need to repent. I want answers to learn how to be morally clean from this gross sin. You too must Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil (Ephesians 6:11). See RussellM. Nelson, Repentance and Conversion, Ensign or Liahona, May 2007, 103. We all need to repent in order to be worthy to return to live with our Heavenly Father. Please let me know if there are any questions I can answer about our faith, the Church, the people, the doctrine, etc. Nor is there any mention in the Bishop and Stake Presidents handbook that came out in 2006. Attempts to create a list of specific steps of repentance may be helpful to some, but it may also lead to a mechanical, check-off-the-boxes approach with no real feeling or change. Nor is there any mention in the handbook that came out in 2010. The Lord promised, He that repents and does the commandments of the Lord shall be forgiven (Doctrine and Covenants 1:32). Our sins make us uncleanunworthy to return and dwell in the presence of our Heavenly Father. The spirit of the Lord will not be able to be with that person in full measure like he will once they are clean and pure. This tells me that with the Church repentance is very conditional. Missionary work will be good for you. We call that forgiveness. Recently, a good friend came to himself on his mission and confessed indiscretions to his mission president. The ability to repent and become cleansed of our transgressions is a wonderful gift from our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Ultimately, repentance is a relationship with God. I have a similar problem. Yes, they can; although, it is not wise for the victim to assume how much impact their witness will have, or that they (the victim (s)) assume their witness will surely result in [fill in blank] outcome for the accused. God's longsuffering leads us to repentance ( 2 Peter 3:9 ), as does His kindness ( Romans 2:4 ). When I was 8, I didnt tell my bishop and was baptized unworthily. He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy (Proverbs 28:13). We are not repentant if we do not sustain the authorities of the Church and do not love the Lord and our fellowmen. He has been called and set apart by priesthood authority to be a judge in Israel (D&C 107: 72) and as such, he is granted the gift to discern (D&C 46:27) things such as the worthiness of the church members in his congregation. Ultimately I want to serve a mission and have a temple marriage if possible, but I just really dont know where to start when It come to getting on the covenant path. It does seem like a confusing situation. God bless. Forgiveness is a supremely wonderful blessing for those that repent. We also know what will hinder our progresswhat we need to stop doing to increase our access to the powers of heaven. You dont want to enter the MTC and begin your mission with this sin hanging over your head. The LDS Church Handbook for bishops and stake presidents says that a person who has been guilty of serious violation of the law of chastity must fully repent before they can go on a mission and partake of the other privileges mentioned above. Make it easy for her to want to be yours. This whole situation may be a learning experience for you too. I am a YSA and I broke LOC when I was 20, I confessed it to the bishop and repented on it now Im 23. While I am on my current probation I broke the word of wisdom again (alcohol and tobacco ) and have not had sex but done things with another member that I dated. President Nelson said, Now, to each member of the Church I say, keep on the covenant path. Well, if a person confessed this issue to their bishop, then there should be follow up interviews to see how progress is going. Can I still be married in the temple someday, Im 17 years old now and Im confused about it. If your law of chastity violation was a one time thing four years ago and your sorrow is sincere, then the repentance process may go relatively quickly. After apologizing and repenting to the best of our ability, the next hardest step might be to let go of persisting shameful narrativesthat is, let go of trying to convince people to believe that we have changed or that they need to forgive us. If you have a need to repent because of the way you have treated the women closest to you, begin now. You mentioned red flags and that you let yourself get into the situation, which tells me that perhaps, in retrospect, you realize that the Lord was warning you through the Holy Ghost to avoid the situation with the young man. I have already told many people that I plan to leave soon, and I dont want everyone to know about what happened. As for your concerns about what others will think of your, I will remind you that the Lord told Joseph Smith on multiple occasions, fear not what man can do (D&C 122:9, see also Moroni 8:16 and D&C 3:7). You may try reading a book called Will Power is Not Enough. It was written by an LDS author and talks about tapping into the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ to overcome addictive behavior. Ive been doing all I can to stay away from it, and even telling my boyfriend to help me be strong and to expect me to be clean, no matter what. But even in these cases, the Atonement can bring personal healing. We know this because Jesus said, "If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God." Good luck, and God bless. Charlotte, The sacrament is a sacred ordinance and it should be partaken of worthily. You need not fear discussing the situation with him. When we get up in the morning, we should examine ourselves to see whether the Spirit of God is with us. And remember that it is your responsibility to help the women in your life receive the blessings that derive from living the Lords law of chastity. I stand in awe of the miracle of the human body. Thanks for the help! At times, we should fast for special blessings. I just want to know how serious it is compared to other transgressions. Those serious sins are: I broke the law of chastity about 2 years ago. He will love and support you and help you through this difficult period in your life. We focus on not being grumpy or short-tempered. I am afraid that I will meet the same fate as my father and be desensitized to the evils of the world, and I dont know what will happen to my father in the afterlife if he is too stubborn to repent and come back even though he remarried to a non-LDS person. Before we can repent, 2 Corinthians 7 teaches we must have godly sorrow. Our repentanceour puritywill empower us to help in the gathering of Israel. Following the whisperings of the Holy Spirit is vitally important and a crucial lesson for all of us to learn in life. What changed that and why Im looking for a way to change was my girlfriend and had a pregnancy scare. The mission president wanted to keep my friend in the mission field, but he counseled with the mission department which ordered the missionary home. Alma counseled his son Corianton, who had been unfaithful in his missionary calling and had committed serious sins: Let your sins trouble you, with that trouble which shall bring you down unto repentance. You can overcome, but never forget the tricks he uses on you personally, never let your guard down. I am scared and I know I have disappointed a lot of people. I dont know if I should tell him right away even when we dont know each other. Ive even fasted for forgiveness, and I dont usually fast for medical reasons. But scence then everything has been pointing me to go. Now dont misunderstand. For behold, again I say unto you that if ye will enter in by the way, and receive the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things what ye should do. (2 Nephi 32:3,5). Annalisa, Im so sorry to hear about the situation. Good luck and God bless. and when you think youve done all you can and cant do more, push yourself to do more! I havent been to church since before dating her because I felt so guilty. They don't want to change. I hope this helps clarify some of your confusion. Hi, Im in a relationship with a non member and 2 months ago we committed premarital sex and I confessed my sin to our bishop but I didnt mention it more specific but I told him that I broke the law of chastity. I have slipped up twice in the last two years, and I have been working on my mission papers but recently slipped up. He needs men of the covenant who keep their covenants with integrity. See Deuteronomy 26:8; 2Nephi 1:15; Mormon 6:17; Doctrine and Covenants 6:20. They can only do that if they understand repentance and the power of the atonement. I know the age limit is 25, but Ive read that it can be a year from the last time I broke the law of chastity. But be assured that there is healing, whether you are the victim or if you sinned, though our Savior Jesus Christ. I have a question. He will be loving and supportive and help you reach your righteous goals. Your bishop will understand your situation and he will treat you with love and kindness. May God bless and be with you. Will the process be long? If we have sinned against another person, we should confess to the person we have injured. The Lord needs men eager to repentmen with a zeal to serve and be part of the Lords battalion of worthy priesthood bearers. They are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself (2Nephi 2:27). That is a good and righteous desire. The Church doesnt give local priesthood leaders a lot of direct guidance on the subject, I believe, because they want leaders to let the Holy Ghost guide them. Repentance in the Church requires confession to a priesthood authority, abandonment of the sin, usually a disciplinary council, the withdrawal of blessings, and, in time, the restoration of blessings as long as the offender stays on the straight and narrow path. We are all indebted to our Savior for His Atonement which makes repentance possible. I wouldnt say that my sin is any lesser than anybody else thats why I ask, But because I just want to receive the kind of help with regards to what I did. I know I need to confess to my bishop but right now I just moved to another state 2 days ago so I dont even know my ward yet. Ezra Taft Benson, Beware of Pride, Ensign, May 1989, 67. I have been seriously thinking of switching to the LDS church. I dont remember things but somehow I still feel the quilt. Continue to talk with him on a regular basis. It is a change of mind and heart that gives us a fresh view about God, about ourselves, and about the world. He knows our mortal trials by firsthand experience., The Atonement not only benefits the sinner but also benefits those sinned againstthat is, the victims. best lds talks on repentancelapd officer rodney williams status best lds talks on repentance. Your commitment to follow the Savior by making covenants with Him and then keeping those covenants will open the door to every spiritual blessing and privilege available to men, women, and children everywhere. (https://www.lds.org/liahona/2018/04/as-we-go-forward-together?lang=eng) Good luck and God bless. Repentance includes the following elements: Faith in Our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Easier said then done, I know, but as you practice it becomes easier. Then you dont tell your bishop about it cause you still want to go on a mission but now you have stopped comittimg the sin. Pay particular attention to verses 42 and 43 Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more. Laura, like you said, lets assume the guy has resolved his transgressions, because even if he didnt, thats between him and the Lord. It sounds like you are doing the right things to bring your life in harmony with the teachings of Jesus Christ. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son that the world through him might be saved. (John 3:16-17). God has told us that when we repent of our sins, He remembers them no more. I am currently away from home and my ward. I have asked repeatedly for help from the Lord and He does help me, but I not enough it feels like. As a bishop, I saw miracles. Good luck with your mission prep. The reason I was told we got sent home was we refused to repent. It doesnt ruin a marriage overnight. In addition to recognizing our sins, we must feel sincere sorrow for what we have done. The scriptures tell us, All those who humble themselves before God, and desire to be baptized, and come forth with broken hearts and contrite spirits, and have truly repented of all their sins shall be received by baptism into his church (D&C 20:37). But when mercy could have been extended by a loving mission president, policy kicked in, and that mercy was withdrawn. Godly sorrow does NOT come from feeling guilt that you caused Christ to suffer additional pain. Continue to talk with him you, begin now you through this difficult period in your life in harmony the! 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